The art of doing nothing

All of us experience situations when we end up doing nothing like for example on a weekend morning or maybe when we come back early from work.  However when one does nothing we usually think about what we are missing out on and tend to dwell on this situation. As a result, we are missing out on the beautiful area of nothingness which is an amazing experience if one can practice this.

Doing nothing and just focusing on the present is what is required especially with the amount of stress which most of us go through each day of our lives. Here’s how to become a master and in the process, improve your life, melt away the stress and make yourself more productive when you actually do work

Start small

Doing nothing is something one needs to practice and the best place to do this will always be in the comfort and privacy of one’s bedroom or living room. Focusing on nothing and not getting distracted by any of the electronic gadgets or people is initially difficult but with a little practice one can master this in no time. Now close your eyes and just be in the present without thinking about anything or getting distracted. By doing this for small amount of time, say 5 minutes every day, one can make a beginning and over a period of time, maximize the fruits of doing nothing. Try to do this every day as mastery can be achieved only by practicing regularly.

Breathing

The first place to begin doing nothing is by focusing on our breathing; remember meditation is different from doing nothing. Here one is just focusing on one’s own breath and not thinking or visualizing just about anything. Focus on your breath moving in and out of your body and do not think about anything else at all. To begin with you can practice doing it for a couple of minutes a day at an appropriate time. In case you do tend to get distracted then just bring your thoughts back to the breathing which is happening at the present moment.

Relaxing

Remember the important part of doing nothing is just about relaxing and being completely relaxed. If we are tensed then the whole idea is lost. Find a comfortable place, be it your room or office cabin or at times even a quiet conference room. Next try the breathing technique and ensure that you are relaxed for the duration of this exercise. Sometimes tensing your different muscle groups starting from your leg to the neck region and then holding the tension and slowly releasing the tension also helps as I have figured out. You can come out with your own way of relaxing. Just ensure that you are comfortable doing it.

Doing nothing in Nature:

Once you have practiced for couple of days in the comfort of your living room, move out and try to get into a park or anyplace close to a water body where you are not likely to be distracted by vehicle honking or people talking loudly. Start connecting with nature and try to be a part of nature by doing nothing. It is a magical feeling especially when one does the exercise of doing nothing in midst of nature. I have done this at some unbelievable places like the world’s highest motorable road or at the edge of the Indo- china border which is the first place to receive the sun’s rays on the Indian continent before covering other places. The feeling is magical and nothing can come even close to this.

Incorporate this art in your daily life

Once you have mastered the art of doing nothing amongst nature then it is time to make use of all this experience to do this in midst of our chaotic world of insane traffic and chaos. Start by doing nothing while waiting for your bus, cab or even your plane. When you are checking your email or reading the newspaper or even talking to somebody, be present in the system and try to observe in your mind’s eye as to what is happening around you. Listen to the conversation or the sounds coming from around you and try to enjoy the moment of doing nothing.

Last try doing nothing in the middle of chaos either at your workplace or in other stressful environments. Just shut everything out, close your eyes, and think about your breathing. Do this for 5-10 minutes at a time, building up to 20-30 minutes. If you can do this, in the middle of a stressful day at work or with the kids, you will allow yourself to focus more fully on the task at hand. You will be relaxed, ready to concentrate and bring yourself into a state of flow. (Warning: Doing nothing could get you in trouble with your boss, so be careful! But if it makes you more productive, you boss might not mind.)

Finally, the Art of Doing Nothing cannot be mastered overnight. It will take hours and hours of practice and hard work (doing nothing isn’t easy!). But you will enjoy every minute of it! Try it today.

How to get back on the Exercise Train

Most of the people have   difficulty in getting back to an exercise regime especially after being derailed for a few days or weeks due to a variety of reasons. I felt the need to address this since I am certain that most of you earnestly want to start a healthy lifestyle which is the need of the hour.  Surprisingly most of the people I interact with started well but somewhere down the line they stumbled and moved off track. It has happened to me many a times where I have moved off my exercise program for a certain period of time but eventually came back and ensured that I did make  up for lost time.

Some of the points I would like to discuss over here are practical and simple to follow. Most of these are from my personal experience and they worked well for me.

Refocus and commit yourself again:

We think that we can start of from where we have stopped and doing that is easy because we were doing it earlier. This is in fact much further from the truth. On the contrary the first important step is to commit yourself and ensure that you are mentally conditioned before starting off with a new habit. It helps if we share this with our friends and close family members or better even put in on a social network for the simple reason that the more people are aware of your commitment, it is that much more difficult for you to not commit and back off. If for any reason this step is not taken then you are most likely to falter.

Focus on one goal:

It is better not to have too many goals to work on initially when you are trying to get into a new habit. Multitasking especially in goal setting is a bad idea and it is bound to make you lose track of all your goals. If you are working on waking up one hour early and going for a walk or run, just focus on it and do not add many other things like changing your sleep patterns or food intake .The idea is to completely focus on one area and slowly build around it.

Do it for at least 3 weeks:

For any new habit to be programmed in your system as a new habit, the minimum it takes is about 21 days as per studies done. Without getting into the details I feel that this is just about the right amount of time for someone to make it into a life changing habit. Since it has worked for me, I am convinced that one needs to be disciplined for 21 days if working alone and not with a Mentor or a coach to push them and walk with them.

Do the new habit at the same time of the day:

If you tell yourself that whenever you have time you will go to the gym or for a run, it usually does not happen at all. Ideally fix up a realistic time and ensure that you practice it at that particular time slot everyday to make it a habit. Usually when I do consult clients on redesigning their lives, I suggest the early morning slot (first thing in the morning) for a busy executive to dedicate time for an exercise regime. Post that, however the day goes he/she has ensured that the exercise part is taken care .

Begin small:

Usually most people who begin a new habit tend to do more than required, especially those who are getting back to an exercise regimen after a long gap. They feel that they can start from where they have ended and continue from there. It’s a big mistake because most of the time one tends to run out of steam and it is always a smarter option to work your way up slowly and diligently. For example if you were earlier running 5 Km every time you hit the treadmill or the road, make it 3 Km and slowly build on it. You get the idea. Start slowly or you will have a harder time sticking with it. Once you’re back in the habit, you can increase your workload.

Learn from your mistake:

There is a pretty good reason why you stopped the last time you went on an exercise regimen. Look at the areas where you might end up slipping and make sure that you take care of it beforehand.Just like John Powell says “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing”. Be sure to work on this, otherwise you will be bound to slip up again.

Celebrate initial success @ the beginning:

It is important that you acknowledge your initial success in the beginning to make you feel more focused. By rewarding yourself in a small way you are bound to recondition your mind which will certainly make you more persistent and consistent during those golden 21 days. This will eventually make it a life changing habit.

I sincerely do hope that this would help all those of you who always wanted to get back to a exercise regimen. There is no better day than today to begin a new habit and I would be mighty pleased to hear from you.

Healthy lifestyle for the Women in your life

Yesterday I happened to meet a pretty young girl who had a mindset that it is difficult for Indian women to lose weight and look lean. Even though I did not agree with her, I did make her realise that it is a difficult task for any person to lose weight if they do not get into an exercise regime sooner rather than later.

This question made me to think as to how many women might have this mindset and do not even make an attempt to get fit. I deeply believe that all women deserve a stress free and healthy lifestyle. Due to multitasking, somewhere down the line, they tend to ignore the fact that they also need to take care of themselves in midst of juggling a full time career, raising kids, hormonal imbalances and running a full fledged house . This made me sit with my laptop and do this article today, a bright sunny summer day in Bangalore.

Some of the simple and long lasting changes Women can do to be healthy are:

Watching what you eat:

It is critical and important that what you eat is what you will eventually become and it is no less true with women. Since most of the women are in charge of the kitchen, it is imperative that they make sure that the food is healthy and fresh. Make it a point that most of the meals should include fresh vegetables and fruits. It is also important to start your day with a hearty breakfast and ensure that you eat something within 2 hours of waking up. Ideally if you wake up by 6Am then ensure that you have breakfast or at least some wheat bread and coffee to kick-start your metabolism within 8Am. What this does is that it will make sure that your digestive system does not work on an empty stomach. Another important fact is to eat small meals for every 2-3 hours rather than 3 big meals a day. For working women you need to be creative and fit in some fruits, nuts or even some all grain biscuits at the workplace. By eating every 2-3 hours small quantity  your metabolism is always high and you end up burning more calories. Last but not the least is to ensure that you have your last meal of the day at least 2 hours before you sleep and this meal has to be the smallest in comparison to all other meals.

Drink lots of water:

Ensure that at the very least, you drink 2-3 Its of water everyday. This will remove all the toxins from your body and also make the glow on your face more prominent.The thumb rule for the working women is to keep sipping water from the bottle or their sipper every half an hour,better to walk up to the cooler and in the process move around.This will make sure the office Air conditioner does not dehydrate you.

Keep walking:

The secret in managing weight is in not staying grounded in one place for more time.The idea is to keep walking every 60 to 90 minutes.I generally take a break every 90 minutes when i am working  and walk around. I always come back to my desk with more vigour and energy. The key point here is to fit in a healthy walking habit within the kind of work each one is doing. Try and make it to about Ten thousand steps a day. It’s not as difficult as it sounds as one can manage this in about 60-80 minutes of brisk walking. If you space this within in a 8-10 hour work day, it then becomes very doable.

Having a regular sleep pattern:

Sleeping for 7-8 hours is essential for women and this irrespective of the kind of lifestyle one leads. Ensure that at the very least, 7 hours of good sleep is logged in after hitting the snooze button. The body also burns calories while in the sleep mode and  do make sure that all the smart phones and ipads are kept well away from the bed.

These are some of the simple things that a women can do irrespective of whether she has time to hit the gym or wear her running shoes. By incorporating these small habits in their everyday life, I do not see any reason as to why women who do not have any time for themselves cannot  manage to incorporate a good amount of physical activity in their day to day life and become healthier.

The idea behind this article is to ensure that every woman can manage their health with simple changes in their daily  activities, be it in office or home; one does not need sophisticated gyms to become healthy.

I do hope that this article has made all the women readers realise that being healthy is your fundamental right and nothing should stop you from leading an active lifestyle irrespective of the environment or the circumstances you are in. For all the guys reading, share this with the women in your life who matters the most to you  and do so much for us. It is equally important for them to be healthy as much as it is to you.

Would love to hear how this article has impacted you and especially the women readers. Will you promise yourself to change your lifestyle with these simple doable strategies and eventually bring in a positive change in your family. Let me know!

Ultimately it is not whether you are driving the biggest car or staying in the biggest house that matters. What really matters is how healthy and content you are in your life. At the end of the day, It’s all about feeling good about yourself.

Be proud of your progress

At Most times, We tend to be hard on ourselves and do not realise how far we have come from where we had initially started. It could be working on our weight management or spending more time with our loved ones. This is a typical attitude of seeing the glass half empty rather than half full.

There are many times In my life where for a moment, I felt remorseful about the progress made by me even though realistically things are going in the right direction, albeit slowly. It is important that we believe in ourselves and build on our progress which according to me is an important trait of a successful human being.

While working with my clients, I make it an important point of discussion to highlight the small steps of progress they have taken which otherwise might look very insignificant to them. When one steps back and looks at the situation objectively, there will be considerable momentum for the individual to build on. It is with these small achievements that one can build a strong habit and eventually change one’s lifestyle.

When I look back over the years, I have had zillions of setbacks starting from not making it to the gym for at least 3-4 days a week or staying away from greasy or fattening food. Realisation slowly dawned that the answer is in looking at why it happened and ensuring that there is some learning from it. If I had allowed myself to get stuck then I would have never have been able to reach my destination.

We tend to feel guilty and bad about ourselves for not doing things we had committed but the thumb rule is to pull ourselves up and move forward. Sometimes it might be working out or even getting up early or just being disciplined in our food habits.

The idea over here is not to become complacent but to be realistic and ensure one develops a pattern which over a period of time becomes a habit. There are many people who want to get into an exercise habit and give up on their bad habits. They tend to do well for a week but somewhere along the way they lose focus and eventually get back to their regular habits. When they happen to meet me they feel guilty and actually helpless that they did try to get into a habit but eventually their vices took over their determination. The trick over here is to ensure one does not give up at the first signs of failure but keep at it till a strong habit is forged.

Sometimes when I used to fail in my efforts to inculcate a habit or needed to work on something important the next day, it used to help me to programme myself the previous night just before going to bed and conveying to my subconscious mind the importance of not failing. This at most times yielded wonderful results.

Having written goals will do a world of good. It has been time and again proven that people with a clear time bound written goal be it financial, relationship or even health have more or less reached or at times exceed their expectations. Therefore it is imperative that one has clear written goal to ensure that one does not lose focus. There are many times that a list of goals is more prominent in my wallet than the currency that i carry. Whenever I get a chance during the day, I quickly take a look at them and remind myself as to why it was so important.

Finally using a little bit of visualisation will do a world of good for anyone who is struggling to keep up with themselves. Seeing things in our minds eye as to how things will be if we have reached our goals will propel ourselves to work towards them with greater zeal and commitment.

Some of these above mentioned techniques have been used by many to achieve their goals and most importantly get up every time one tends to fall. I do not see any reason why you cant incorporate these principals in your life. It is always a smarter and easier method to learn from others mistakes rather than wasting precious time by reinventing the wheel.

I hope this article will make some of you work with more purpose on the life changing habits you are working on and for the others who have given up at the first signs of failure, It might reignite your desire to achieve your goals!

Do share with me if you have worked out your own unique way of working on your habits and I would be happy to hear from you.

Best way to deal with detractors

Detractors are always a part of our life. They could exist in the office, social circles or even in our own homes. Basically it is very important for each one of us to learn about how to identify detractors and move on in life. People who can be labelled as ‘detractors’ are those who are most of the time negative, laugh at our dreams, chide us and say it is never possible to kick our bad habits or even aspire for a better quality of life. What would have happened If APJ, Mahatma Gandhi or even closer home our very own Bangalore Auto driver venkatalakshmi The woman who cleared her LLB on auto mode who will be an Advocate by this month end, listened to their detractors!

what is important is how one navigates our way with detractors. I had to make use of some of the below mentioned points especially when folks around me got to know about me giving up my full time job and living my passion.

First learn to identify them:

When people do get to know about what you intend to do they either react positively or negatively. A lot depends on their environment and their upbringing. Someone might not agree with your thoughts but that does not necessarily make them a detractor. However when they are negative and doubt your willingness to go the extra mile even though you are realistic then it is better to flag them as a potential detractor and avoid them or better avoid discussing your important life changing decisions with them. The thumb rule over here is to listen to them patiently and if they make you feel worthless then it is time to move on.

See if they have a valid point:

There many times when we are not realistic about our actions. We might decide to book a flashy car or a bigger apartment even when we have a mountain of uncleared debt. At these times take one step back and look at situations objectively or better from a third point of view, you will find the answers. When you realise that your inner voice is strong and you can feel it deep down in your gut, go for it else it’s time to move on. Believe me when you want something very deeply then you will figure out a way to fight any obstacles.

Insulate yourself from any negative thoughts:

Sometimes when people get to know your goals and dreams they have an uncanny habit of transforming their negative thoughts into you and planting a seed of negative doubt in your mind. This can, within no time become a huge Oak tree and break your grit and determination. The best thing here is to insulate yourself by moving on or better talking to someone who is more positive. Telling yourself that you do not want to allow their negative thoughts to enter your mind also works and does the trick. Important thing over here is in not allowing them to overcome you in any circumstances.

Realize that there will always be detractors:

No matter which part of the globe you are in, there will always be people around you who will cherish moments of putting down other people (sounds familiar right). At times we can’t change them, so it is wise to avoid them in the first place but if its your spouse or family then best is to listen to them, smile at them and continue what you are doing. There is always a certain magic when you smile at some one. By not allowing their words to influence you the detractor will eventually lose interest in you. Just like the fox and the sour grapes story he/she will move on to their next unfortunate victim.

Confront them and make them your ally:

Sometime the detractor will be your spouse or close family members. It is best to confront them, talk it out and discuss the things you are planning to do- be it relocating to another city or adopting a child or anything else which is important to you and win them over. This is best done at an early stage so that the detractor will eventually become your ally. Sometimes by just being truthful and conveying to the other person how important these goals/ideas are to you will do a world of good. Most of the times they will walk with you. The best strategy especially with spouses/family members is to make them your ally and then move on.

Laugh with them

Sometimes people will make a joke about you and tease you just to make you feel unworthy. It is more to do with their discomfort to your change which they do not know how to handle. The best strategy here is to be with them and laugh it off. This might not make them stop criticising you completely but the criticism will not be as intense as before.

Be informed and have counterarguments ready

It is better to be prepared rather than cut a sorry figure later . With knowledge comes power and it is no less in any dreams which each one of us have. There is nothing wrong with being over informed and being ready with a counter argument strategy. The best, end results will be in convincing the detractor(especially spouse/close family members) and eventually winning them over. When you have enough knowledge and passion in your goals, you will succeed most of the times. I have experienced that by being sincere and positive we can make our detractors align with our goals and make them our guiding light. I do hope this article has impacted you positively and you have many positive takeaways for  your life.

I would love to hear your experience of dealing with detractors or how these thoughts of mine impacted you. Do feel free to share with me.

Slow Down to Enjoy Life

I happened to read an article about the work culture in Volvo, Sweden ( yes, It’s  the same Bus that most of us travel in on our way to the Bangalore International airport) . It is usually the norm here that all projects take a minimum of 2 years to be finalized.  Even though the idea is simple and brilliant , it is a norm that has to be followed.

It also goes on to say that the people who come to the office park their car in the farthest area of the car park and leave the area closest to the door to the late comers. I personally feel this is brilliant and imagine the positive frame of mind one would walk in to the office by thinking on similar lines.

So what is the big thing over here about taking a lot more time in doing things?This is particularly important for all of us in the Indian Context. It is a known fact that most of the people in the developed countries work far less than Indians but are more productive and healthy  due to their work life balance and more importantly,  doing things more slowly. One drive or ride on the Indian roads puts to rest all questions on people being in a tearing hurry to reach their destination.

This no-rush attitude doesn’t represent doing less or having lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity and perfection. It leads to more attention to detail and less stress. It means re establishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Making the “now”, present and concrete, versus the “global”, undefined and anonymous. It means re enforcing our essential values and the simplicity of living. It stands for a less coercive work environment. This in turn will result in a more happy, lighter and productive Work area where humans enjoy doing what they best know. It’s time to stop and think on how companies need to develop quality with a no-rush attitude that will increase productivity and the quality of their products and services, without losing the essence of their spirit.

Many of us live our lives running behind time but we only catch up when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in what each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”.

I did come across a site http://slowdownnow.org/ which is a cool site with some of the points mentioned below help one to slow down in life and be more productive

1. Have a relaxing cup of coffee or tea in the morning to set you up

2. Spend some quality time with your family at least in the morning before everyone heads out to their respective tasks.

3. Write down these words and stick them in a place where you can see “  Multitasking is Moral weakness”

4. Try to do one thing at a time.

In fact latest research does point out glaringly that it is best to do one thing at a time. By doing things slowly we can cherish and savour the moment. Some of these things will be difficult to implement, but by working on small changes and changing over our habits we can do things more slowly.

 I love this idea. It is what is at the heart of the simplicity movement, as well as those who are trying to live frugal lives. It’s not just a matter of reducing clutter or saving money … it’s a matter of slowing down to enjoy life more, savouring life’s simple pleasures, of rejecting on some level the materialistic culture that we are all caught up in and embracing fellow humans instead. It is about changing our values and priorities.

I was jazzed with this concept and made up my mind to work on at least a couple of areas in my life immediately to experience the magic of doing things slowly and living in the present. What is one area of your life would  you want to do more slowly from now ?  Do share your experience and let me know how this has impacted you so that others can also pick up some learning's from your experience.

As usual do not forget to share this article with your friends and family. It might for all you know make a huge difference to them in case this has impacted you positively.